An Online Dating Success Story
Ben & Betsy!
I have taken a break from my online dating life in lieu of looking for a job. It’s just too hard to balance the time it takes to find someone within my parameters, availability, and overall desire to actually meet them, with the numerous other things I am trying to accomplish at the present moment. Do not be discouraged though; there is one couple in my life that is making it all the way to the altar using the same online dating site that I myself use.
Betsy (Elizabeth) and I have been friends since middle school. She is now graduating with a nursing degree this spring and the wedding is set for June. I sat down and asked her some questions last time I was home to get her take on the whole online dating experience. I have yet to decide if I am really the type of person who is able to find a long-term partner through an online dating network but finding someone whom you personally know succeed to that point, definitely puts a spring in your step.
What made you decide to try online dating?
“One of my bridesmaids, Tessie, is the one who got me on the site in the first place. I think as long as people can be safe and smart about it, online dating can work well. It depends on what you want and what you tell people. Other friends of mine have gone on OKCupid dates, and some have been better than others. But if you give up after one bad experience, you’re really not giving it a fair chance.”
When I began online dating I definitely took the mind set that I was just expanding my social network. Between work, school, church, and the ……..gym? I don’t go out to a whole lot of places where I would just ask a guy out or where the guys are actually available. I have known a handful of people who have had both success and failures through online dating, and what is life without new experiences?
How did you feel about online dating before you started?
“I was a little skeptical. I was really careful not to give away too much info about myself. I think I talked to 2 or 3 guys before talking to Ben. To be honest, I felt a little desperate trying to use a dating site, but I knew that, with nursing school, I just wasn’t going to meet anyone in person right now. My initial goal, though, was to find someone to get to know. I wasn’t going to date until after graduation. Famous last words…”
The very feeling of being too busy is something I run into often. I have stumbled upon a handful of guys I know through this and that, all of whom have very busy careers. I went out to dinner with a friend, who also happened to be on the same dating website, and he had also noticed a few ladies he knew and mentioned that “Look, we all went to the same school and are all too busy to actually date.”
While I would never feel embarrassed to tell someone that I met my boyfriend through an online dating service, many people are. It can be different depending on your friends, family, etc., but for some, creating an ideal story is better then telling the uncomfortable story of how you met.
Did you make up a story about how you meet?
“Let’s see, Ben and I quickly found out we went to the same church, just different service times. It really only made sense to meet at church for the first time in person. We never really hid the fact that we had met online, but for some reason, some people seem to ignore that fact and just say we met at church. I like being a success story. It may not be conventional as far as some of the population are concerned, but it worked for us.”
A few blogs back I did the “Do’s and Don’ts of an Online Profile” I asked Betsy what she did and did not like as she stumbled through the multiple profiles.
What was your biggest turnoff to profiles?
“Oh my gosh, I HATE it when guys have something in their username like “DaMan4U” or “SexyBoi.” Seriously, if a guy thinks he’s that awesome, he’s not for me. Also, if he seems proud of the fact that he can’t spell, he’s definitely not for me. Not gonna lie, I also immediately dismissed any guy who had “Missouri” in his username.”
We are from Kansas after all.
I definitely stop looking at profiles if the guy is way into some sort of outdoors activity that I would never be interested in. Hiking, biking, running…..really anything that forces me to be outdoors with no particular purpose. This may make me sound a bit narrow-minded but admit it: we all have “the list” even if it’s not written down and not politically correct; subconsciously it’s still there.
What attracted you to Ben’s profile?
“Ben found me. He sent me a message asking what Bible studies I was in. No guy had asked that, and it caught my attention. I had dated a guy who was obsessed with following Catholicism’s rules and a guy who didn’t go to church unless it was with me. It was refreshing to find a guy who cared enough about reading the Bible to mention it in an opening message. It didn’t hurt that Ben’s profile pic was cute.”
Where and when did you first meet in person?
“It took about 3 weeks. I was getting a little impatient, but I knew it was better to get to know him as much as possible first. I had read that it’s smart to meet in a place where you’re surrounded by people. So we met at Topeka Bible Church for the first time. That common thread is what really helped fuel our relationship to begin with. We had our first date a couple of weeks later at Gage Park and Jason’s Deli. Then, we went mini golfing.”
Ben and Betsy’s relationship has only flourished from there. With plans for the wedding in June, they both feel very blessed that everything came together at just the right time. Check out their story and pictures on their wedding website. www.mywedding.com/betsyandben
Now the question is….Can I find a long term partner through online dating? For right now though, I feel that my relationships with Monster.com and TalentZoo.com are more important for my future.